Sara + Taft
Hello! We're Sara and Taft, and we're so honored that you're taking the time to get to know us. While we hope we might someday earn your trust and better understand your journey, we know we're not entitled to anything from you. We're just incredibly grateful that you're considering us as parents for your child.
Please know that we will support whatever you decide. The choices you face are complicated, and an adoption would only work if you have the space you need to be honest and compassionate with yourself. If you do decide on an adoption plan, whether open or closed, you will continue to have a powerful presence in your child's life. We will always respect that fact. Taft's sister was adopted and Sara has worked extensively with adoptees as a child psychiatrist, and we've been humbled by the bravery and individuality of birth families. Adoption is not a cookie-cutter situation, and we're not a cookie-cutter family. We think that means that when we do find a fit, it will be nothing short of amazing.
By the time we met in 2018, we both realized how important it is to be with someone who loves you for the things you love about yourself. We're both adventurous (one of our early dates was a weekend trip to North Dakota so Sara could complete her goal of visiting all 50 states), passionate (we each have side projects we love: Sara runs a small home bakery and Taft flies his airplane for charity), and deeply committed to our family and friends. Though we're opposites in many ways, we share our core values. Over the years, we've seen how our differences complement each other and help us grow.
Our relationship was unexpectedly, miraculously sped up by the birth of our son Quin. On a routine health check shortly after we started dating, Sara found out that she probably wouldn't be able to have children. Frantic and heartbroken, she made a last ditch effort to freeze her eggs, only to be told the day before the procedure that it was canceled. Even with all the medications and injections, her body couldn't make enough eggs to justify the surgery.
That week, we had the most important conversation of our lives. It was fast, but we were on the same page: we wanted a family together. Two months later, Sara was pregnant. We were in such disbelief that we ordered the pregnancy test on Amazon, just to give us two extra days to wrap our heads around the idea. Quin was born in June 2020, cementing our commitment to each other as a family.
It wasn't how it was "supposed" to happen, but it's how it was supposed to happen for us. Having an unanticipated baby during a pandemic strains any relationship. But all these challenges forged us into something strong yet flexible.
When we found out Sara might not be able to have children, it could have been an awkward conversation, seeing as how we had only been
dating for 6 months. But Taft didn't miss a beat, and suggested adopting; Sara immediately agreed.
After our surprise pregnancy, we acknowledged that lightning was not going to strike twice. Rather than spend time and money on fertility treatments, we agreed that we'd rather invest in making our home and our lives as rich as possible for a nonbiological child.
Adoption has always been a part of the conversation in our family.
And Also ...
We love being parents! We know we have so much more momming and dadding in us. We've done the sleepless nights and diaper blowouts and can't wait for more, because caring for Quin and watching him grow into a funny, sweet, mischievous toddler has brought us more joy than we thought possible. Both of us grew up surrounded by siblings and cousins, and we always saw ourselves having a bigger family. Quin loves being around other kids, and we know he'll be a fantastic big brother.
Growing up biracial, I always wondered where I fit in. My mom faced intense racism growing up and pushed away a lot of her culture and heritage, so I didn't feel very connected to my Asian side. Over my life, I've learned how to create my own community and found support and understanding among other multiracial people. It's important to me to not just offer wholehearted acceptance to my adopted child but also to make sure they have what they need to feel like a part of their chosen community.
I was born and raised in a small town in North Carolina. I was lucky to be raised by wonderful parents, alongside two younger sisters. I was exposed to adoption early because my youngest sister, Zoe, was adopted from China. Growing up with Zoe exposed me to the joys of adoption as well as the challenges of transracial adoption.
What is there to say about Quin without sounding over-the-top smitten... Quin yells, "Hi, people!" to random passersby on the street. He wants to pet every dog he meets. He likes playing tricks on us, starting tickle fights, and singing himself to sleep. He likes to climb to the top of too-tall slides, then change his mind and hop back down the stairs. He is mortally afraid of bathroom hand dryers. If anyone seems sad (Taft, Sara, one of his friends, a stranger's baby in the grocery store), he'll tell them that "it gonna be okay." He's not perfect, because no one is, but we adore every bit of him. Even the poop jokes.
Quin had his passport before his first birthday, and we can't wait to show our kids the world.
[From Quin] I like the park. Trash trucks come on Wednesday.
Sara adopted Iggy from the animal shelter when he was 8 weeks old and brought him on her first date with Taft a few months later. A member of our family from the start, Iggy is friendly and cuddly, and he's amazing with kids. He might not always listen to us when it comes to chasing squirrels or burying bones, but he's gentle and patient with Quin. Whether it's hiking our local trails or minding the stroller at the park while Quin plays, Iggy's an important part of our lives.
Several months into the pandemic, we realized it was time to move back to Sara's hometown. Impulsive on the surface, it was one of the wisest decisions we've made. We live in an amazing, vibrant city in a beautiful home only a mile from Sara's parents' house. Our neighborhood is peaceful - full of trees and hills and wide roads - but it's also only 5 minutes from major commercial hubs and only 15 minutes from downtown. It's the kind of community where people hang out in each other's backyards, go all out with Halloween and Christmas decorations, and throw block parties.
One of the things we love about our house is how open it is: high ceilings, tons of common space, and a huge kitchen to play, cook, and hang out in. We have four bedrooms, and we can't wait to convert Taft's office into another nursery. We're close to several playgrounds, where we've made other parent friends, and we're across the street from a hiking trail with waterfalls and streams. We're in a diverse, well-rated public school district.
About 45 minutes away, we also have a house and an acre of land right on the Colorado River. It's a lovely retreat, with its giant fenced yard, gorgeous river views, and an open concept that's perfect for hosting dinner parties or overnight hangs with family friends.
Our Promises to You
We're committed to attending every doctor's appointment, school event, and extracurricular activity. We both have stable, flexible, well-paying careers with the option to work from home, and we will put family first. While we think childcare and preschool are an important part of a child's social development, we also want to make sure we're always available. Though we are not religious, we promise that our kids will learn about spirituality and, if they want to or if it's important to you, specific religious faiths. We want our kids to learn that good people come in all shapes and sizes, from all different backgrounds, and that they have a choice in what they believe and how they live their lives. Honesty, integrity, and kindness will be the priorities in our household.
We believe consistent values and unconditional love create confident, curious, compassionate kids. This is an uncertain and unpredictable world, but through it all, we promise to embrace adventure, cherish differences, keep each other safe (emotionally and physically), and be each others' biggest fans.
And as for you, we promise that you will always be a part of your child's story.
Thank you, again. So much.